Growing up, I have always known that I am an introvert, but had never understood that some of my features, albeit different from everybody else, are actually normal. I never had problems with public speaking, and that is perhaps because I’m used to it since my primary school days, alhamdulillah, but small talks, long social events can tire me out very easily.
I have had lecturers who advised me to speak up more after the semester ends. During the first year of law school, I applied for one scholarship, the final evaluation for which is a three-days camp and on the final day, we had a mock interview.
After the program ended, my interviewer called me and said, "You have all (the criteria) we want. I think you can go far, but there is one thing you have to improve - your lack of assertiveness." When I thought about his advice, it seemed understandable how my quiet nature can relate to my lack of assertiveness, and ever since that day, I kept thinking about it but without ever really finding out how to put it into practice.
Post third year of law school, we did a law attachment program - and on the last day when I sought advice from the senior lawyers, they commented on how "You do your work well, but sometimes you're too quiet. You should speak up more."
Even where I’m from, a Southeast Asian country where the Extrovert Ideal is not too deeply entrenched in the society, I've already been getting these comments, the situation was harder when I joined an exchange program in Turkey because the lectures there are evidently based on the Extrovert Ideal.
I can still remember one of our lecturers whom we call hoca asking me, "Neden konuşmuyorsun?" (Why aren't you talking?) A question that is actually really hard for me to answer. Sometimes I believe that I don't have anything substantially relevant to contribute to the discussion at the moment, some other times I believe that I need more time to assess the topic - it really depends.
Fortunately that did not negatively impact my exchange experience. It was amazing, an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. And then I found these books. Reading Quiet is like talking to a friend who understands me the way no one has before. The author is a law graduate and introverted herself, which may be the main reason why. Every sentence feels like the author is reading us like an open book, and every example made sense, every example was relatable. That is how it gets fun.
The first half of Quiet provides us with the psychological researches that prove how introversion can be an advantage, contrary to popular belief, and gives us numerous examples of famous persons who are successful in their particular fields, not despite being introverted, but because they are introverted.
And in the second half, the author gives us practical tips to make the most of the advantages of our introverted nature, and how to do better in the world of Extrovert Ideal. In short, we are like rubber bands, we can be flexible enough to get out of our comfort zones, but like rubber bands, we will have to eventually retract to our original state - meaning we'll have to ensure that at the end of the day, we get to provide ourselves with the solitude that our introverted nature demands.
Being flexible does not mean we are not being ourselves, because we can actually adopt extroverted features easily, albeit gradually, when we do things we are passionate about!
Many more tips are shared in Quiet, many of which I believe we’ve already practised in our daily lives without realising. I think it is safe to conclude that reading this book has helped me find the confidence that being an introvert is not a disadvantage, and in many ways, it can be our strong point.
The book has given me answers to questions I have always thought of but never knew the answers to. It encouraged me to make the most of myself and not feel inferior about who I am. And that is why I would love to share this with my introverted friends, with hope that it can help others the way it helped me.
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